Hello My Dear

Hello My Dear Readers,

It is now the 7th day of Hari Raya. Haven't been doing that much visiting. It has been a good raya though. Cousins and friends have been coming over, get to see the little nephews and nieces. I like very many.

Something old but new is, my car is back in the workshop. *Sigh* For a different reason now. Somewhat. Hopefully I can get it back by next week.

Will be jotting down a very short post today, cause the mind is abit dysfunctional.

Last but not least...

U make me smile like a flippin butterfly..u make me shy like a girl on sugar high.

Til then have a good week up ahead.

Tying the knot

It's weird how I have the Song "Fighter" by the Gym Class Heroes stuck in my head right now and it isn't even the last song that I heard today.

It's less than an hour to 12 am suddenly I have the urge to blog. I received a very delighting news about a friend yesterday. I can say, two of my very good friends that I went to the university with will be tying the knot! I am genuinely happy for them. They have found their true love and they are planning to show it to the whole world not through the main stream way of just displaying it on facebook or any sort of social networks but by having a legitimate tie that not all mature couples seem to be able to do.

One lady will be having her wedding just next month and the other will be having hers early January 2013.

These two ladies went through a lot the last time I remember when they were in a relationship. Tears were shed, sorrows were shared between ourselves and what's amazing is they never stopped believing in having that one man that would always be true to them and now here they are planning out their weddings, picking out the best tiaras and the best glittering shoes that would match their dresses. Ahh..so nice.

Now that leaves me here wondering when will it be my turn? The pressure is not really there, cause my mum is not the type that is over the top concern about these things and to her I am still her 16 year old kid. True fact, I'm already 26 for crying out loud. And to add to that fact, I haven't found the right guy yet. * as of today, I don't think I have* But I do believe that I shall have the knot tied sometime next year. *Believe to achieve*

The past six years have thought me a very thoughtful lesson and seeing my friends have showed me the correct way of being in a relationship. It all boils down to believing. When I was with the last guy, which by the way was a pretty much serious four years relationship, I realize I never did believe that he was actually the one, I just THOUGHT he was the one. It seem a lot like it was the real deal that I forgot to believe that it was actually the real deal. But it wasn't. There were too much hope and expectations, which I have failed to realized, was not standing on solid foundations. I guess I was just young and naive. Probably in a way, too confident with myself. And I remember pouring too much love, more than I should have. Gosh, now that I am sane, I just realize all the wrong ingredients were put in the relationship. No wonder it didn't work. Well all of those things are behind me now. What I have learned from my friends are to just be moderate when it comes to these things. To believe that the guy is the right guy and not just think that he is. Probably not to expect too much from him as well, cause one thing he's not God.

Everyone will find their other half as long as you keep on believing that you can. That's what I believe.

That is all I reckon.

To the ladies,

Congratulations! For..

Full on determination

Things I wana do after puasa:

It's a must that I do all the things that I'm about to mention. The reasons are as follows:

1. Since it's the fasting month, I think I have lost the weight that I gained afew weeks ago.
2. I seriously do not feel fit anymore.
3. I have forgotten some of my gym routines that I was thought.
4. I don't think I can do a 10k run anymore.
5. I've lost the muscles on my thighs.
6. It's just so fuckin sad.

You just can't imagine how disappointed I am with myself as I typed those things above.

People in the GFCF are getting much much better. Especially those that goes training in Bandar at the box. *Sigh big big

One of the trainers have been training the princesses. They have their one to one personal trainings 6 times a week and after a week of training they can already do pull ups. Impressive ey. That's what I call full on determination. Truth be told til now I still can't do one. Shit, this is just sad. Seriously.

Going back to the first thing that I mentioned. The list of things I need to look into after the puasa month:

1. Go back to the gym
2. Attend circuits
3. Go running
4. Enroll myself in the Muai Tai classes
5. Start joining marathons again
6. And ofcourse get myself new running/exercise shoes (as I have lost mine. See how bad it has been. Ahh.. freakin' hell)

 Please excuse my French. I'm just too disappointed with myself.

You shall be my inspiration!

Wish me luck everybody.

As of today this is how skinny I am.

 P/S: Rambut saja almost sama as Camille. Heheh

Below is a random picture of me and afew other anti-social people. Heheh.

Sigh. Til then. Have a good last nine days of Ramadhan everybody. Hari raya is just around the corner. Good food is on it's way. Oh Dear.

Turn over a new leaf

So here is the thing, sometimes it takes a few slaps on the face for one to realize that he or she is on the wrong side of the road. Consequences of being on the wrong side of the road are as follows:

1. You might hurt yourself
2. You might hurt others
3. You might just die

I was on the wrong side of the road. But today I have certainly realized that I do not wanabe on the wrong side of the road anymore. I've made a mistake of almost going back there and I didn't feel good. I was overwhelmed with guilt that I have not felt since I was a kid. Not too sure what about. But yes it was awful.

A person is always, I mean ALWAYS given a choice. Personally, I think God will never put us in a situation whereby an option is what we only have. Well most of the time, it is never like that. A person would always be given the chance to choose between doing things right and doing things wrong. I, as much as I can, wana do things right. Always be on the right side of the road, to always know what I want, what I need and to know what I don't need.

I am finally turning over a new leaf. I am excited and I am terrified at the same time. It's a weird profound feeling that brings a smile on my face and a couple of frowns as well. But yet, all in all it is still good.

I believe I have made the correct choice. If this new leaf doesn't turn out so good I can always turn over a new page.

*Tee hee

Flippin' Butterfly

Hello,

Being at work on a Sunday today gave me the urge to blog a little bit.

My favorite staff is leaving to pursue her degree. I can't really stop her. I want to but that would be very selfish of me. She did say it's hard for her as well. Another staff of ours is making a mess out of this place. He is kinda 'Special' so I can't really say much cause I know he means well. I have a project coming up. I can say I am quite nervous about it. *When was I never when it comes to these things.

I think this is the first time in Ramadhan I am posting something here. Ramadhan has been very gentle with me. Alhamdulilah. I am surprise that I am very active this year regardless of being hungry and sleepy.Hmm interesting. There's always something that I wana do. I might be conducting an extra class for my students later. Where is all this energy coming from? I am not too sure myself. Can't really say that I do not feel tired working extra time during this fasting month. But I kinda just want to.

In response to my previous post, some questions were answered. Tee hee..

Here's what I have to say:

U make me smile like a flippin butterfly..u make me shy like a girl on sugar high. 

Cheers Mademoiselle
 

Believe to achieve

So,

Here is the thing. I am in quite of a situation. I'm not too sure if it's a situation, probably I'm just making a big deal out of it. But I somehow keep on thinking about it everyday. If only everything is self explanatory. It saves me the trouble of trying to figure things out myself, probably saves me the trouble of making a fool out of myself as well. Which by the way, I personally think I can get an award for making a fool out of myself. There are times when I think I am the queen of fools. Oh well.

I can't really say what exactly I am going through here. Cause it would be very odd. I am not so much the type that kiss and tell. I think. I do tell at one point or another, to my bestie. When everything has reached a point where it needs to be spilled.

What do I want now? What am I gona do now?

I want answers or signs or something anything. I wana know whats going on. Cause as it stands I'm feeling kinda hopeless and lost. Am I expecting so much more? Probably not, cause I'm not too sure if I have fully come to an agreement with myself that these sort of things are rigid and long lasting. So what are the actions to be taken? I suppose for the time being I can wait. Who knows I'll get tired of waiting.

Blegh... Truth be told I'm not up for another mid life complication. Why do I always get myself sucked into these things? Seriously? Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I'm probably cursed. Can I just live in a box where any sort of sentiments are non existence? That would be nice. Again saves me the trouble of having wants, needs and desires.

If only you would just open up and say something. I don't read minds. Hmm. I would pay just to have him talk. Regardless of what ever that is gona come out.

I realize the difference between me now and me then is that I am more prone to saying things out, especially about what I think. Or when I disagree about something. One good example was, when I snapped at my boss telling him to talk nicely. Seriously, me then would never even think of doing something so rude. So yeah, I kinda made the same mistake (Not too sure if it was a mistake) to a certain person. I didn't snapped or anything not at first atleast. Since then things have been different. But that is just how I roll now. Didn't mean to break anyone's heart but asking is better then assuming. Living in denial is the last thing you wana do despite how hurtful the truth may get.

Ah well. Only time will tell I suppose. If the person refuses to open up, I guess that's that. It's such a shame though cause I've never met a person like that before and I would love to get to know him better.

Come to think of it, this could be a good lesson for a person like me or perhaps you too. I kinda just came across two different types of people. One that easily spills his heart out and one that just doesn't. If you ask me which is a keeper? Honestly, I have no idea.


Til then.

Believe to achieve.

What fascinates me

Hi,

It intrigues me how one can make me wonder a million things. I can say that I am a person that thinks alot. Sometimes. Fascinating how god managed create mix of emotions and how these emotions are triggered by different occurrences.

For instance, this family as in my family weren't a big fan of cats. They pee and climb up on cars and leave footprints. Very much annoying. Until late last year, I do not really remember, two cats dropped by our place. They were our neighbors cats that wouldn't wana go back to their own home. So with time they managed to steal our hearts and they kinda became a PR at our home. We learned to love these cats and became quite attached. Two cats, namely Tuli and Gamuk. Sad story, Gamuk died afew days ago. It was found dead in our drain. I never thought I would cry but I did. My mum and my sisters as well. And to think we didn't even like cats. See how fascinating that is. How feelings can change from one form to another? Just like energy. There is one difference though, energy can't disappear but feelings can. If only there's a scientific explanation to the transition of feelings. Perhaps we can find a controlling agent to stop the transition from occuring.

I was browsing through my facebook timeline and came across posts and videos which I don't even remember posting. Some of the things I posted sounded quite smart. Heheh. Some were just simply corny and dorky. Heheh. Oh well. Got me back to the past a little bit there. How things have changed since the last six years. I was thinking to myself, if I was given the chance to go back into time, I wouldn't change anything. All the mistakes and regrets, they are memories made. And the good times are simply irreplaceable.

I'm just gone face life one day at time and probably hope for the best.  Gona go for a holiday trip. Can't wait. It has been awhile.

I think that is all for tonight.

P/S: I sometimes have a big mouth. Now I have to finish his slides. Hit self on the head.