One day at a time

I poured my heart out to a person whom I thought would bring me see rainbows by the end of my life time. It doesnt make me feel good but I guess it is for the best. Came a cross a meme, it says happy. yes? Yes. Keep going. Happy, No? Change something. So i followed that advice and made a change. Well kinda. Currently still making the first step to making a change. Not everyone gets you. Or it could be I just don't get some people. It is kinda selfish to think why can't he do things according to what I like and what I want?If I think again, it is not so selfish when the things I want are at its minimal. I do not ask for money, I do not ask for constant contact, I do not ask for anything a normal girl would ask from her lover. I have dialed down my neediness, bossiness and edginess to a level where I had no idea I could reach. Sigh.

Ah well. At least I took a leap in actually doing something. I guess not everyone can see what you are wiling to give up on to make them happy. Well perhaps it is just not meant to be.

Lets take one day at a time and move on shall we.

Candy Apple

So it has been awhile.
Things are pretty much the same. I've grown a bit older but still not any wiser.
Still have the tendency to lookat people at their best, insult them for their stupidity and fall for ever sweet loving thoughts of sugar coated words.
So some things do not change, some people do not change. I might be going against my principal of nothing is permanent except change, well, at one point in time i have realized that somethings do not change. Like for instance, how can one do what they always do? And after for so long they still do what they do?
I can't help it but think too much. The what if's, what could've been and the why's.
I have placed my self in a place where i myself do not want to be in and I can't seem to get out from. And I seem to have not found someone that can safe me and take me out. I have tried very hard to let myself loose, doing it by myself can't seem to work.
How I wish I can find that one person that can really help me. I guess I can only wait til God gives me that one person that can help me out.
I have a candy apple. It's just funny how sometimes I feel like this candy apple will not last me til forever. :(

Sabar

What to do when you are angry but you can do nothing about?

SABAR SAJALAH!

Almost is

Spent the whole day (well almost the whole day) doing my project. It was pretty mind boggling cause I had no idea how to use the software. My project is about forecasting the output power of a solar PV system.  In this case the ones we have in Seria. I must use this software called R to do it. It is pretty straight forward actually. It's just that, truth be told, I am not so much of a programming person. It is not as hard as JAVA I should say. But still, I have to use all these commands that seem very foreign to my simple mind. With Midah's help, I did manage to do what I was suppose to do. Surprisingly I do understand some of the commands. There are some that I still do NOT though, like as.data.frame. I mean like, WHAT? There are meanings to every commands of course, I just have not gotten my way around that yet.

The semester break's over. School is gona start again tomorrow. Well atleast some weight is lifted away from my shoulders. Just need to work on my report soon. And revise for the exam. I only have one module. So gona try really hard to nail that one.

Currently listening to Almost Is Never Enough. I guess its not that bad. Since I have it on repeat for quite a while now. Feeling really sleepy. I guess today's post is not going to be as informative as I thought it would be.

Well, that is all I guess.

Perhaps I can share afew boring photos. Hehe. :)

That's persistence right there!

Its Grumpy Cat and her brother :) This is not boring!

Gah!

The feeling of  not knowing how to do something!

I have to say

So! I've not posted anything for a really long time now.

Time has passed and I have developed weird interests nowadays. Not much just one or two.

I bought myself a fixie bike a few days go. Went for a ride earlier. The tyres were a bit lacking of air. Gonna get it filled tomorrow perhaps. The upside of working at where I work. *Smiles* Gona bring the fixie for  an hour spin soon.

Keeping fit is still an interest. Yeay. I have also recently started taking El Marino. It is doing me justice. Yeay me!It is probably one of my best investments on a health supplement so far. At this age and doing what I do, I think I do need it. I mean its every girl's dream to stay young and radiant. Just like Zooey Deschanel. She just  look so young and pretty and she's already 33. I wanabe just like her :)

Keeping fit, healthy and young is not an easy thing to do. So is keeping yourself sane, contented and civilized. There are alot of things in this world that would really test your mental strength and stability. It is up to you how you wana handle it. Little did we know its things like these are one of the many things that eats up your youth. Hence, you should know how to handle things in your life.

There are days when I think I want to give up on certain things, be a quitter, settle for less and just stay still and be stagnant. But I figured, GOD gave you intelligence not to put it to waste.

I am currently in my second semester of my post grad studies. 2 more semesters to go. That's a year. Seem so long. It is actually. One of the hardest things that I need to cope up with is the drive to continue and excel. I need a cheerleader, like literally. Ah well. At this point, I can only make full use of what I have, my own determination.

 Where as for work, I have been doing lots and lots of writing lately. I was thinking to myself, I didn't do my degree to become a journalist.  I guess with what I'm currently doing I have the upper hand of doing my school report efficiently. I think. And my photoshop skill is getting better. It's true when they say you do not really practice what you studied.


Hmm..That is all.

I shall leave you with a selfie and a Nina and Friend :)

Taken in 2011

Taken in 2013

 I still look as young. Hehehe.. :) and I miss my nose stud. Give El Marino a try!

Mind over matter

The excruciating pain of being lied to, being rejected or failing something.

The beginning of my post is a little bit dramatic. This blog is the only place where I can be all emotional and overly dramatic you see. Clearly it has been almost three years I have this blog around. It shows the transition of my life time in a way. Probably I'll shut it down after I have my first child. Hmm..we'll see. It's good to have something written down, you have something to read back and have a laugh about. I do that sometimes. Read the stuff I wrote when I still had the mind of a child. A few years has passed nothing much has changed though with regards to my thinking. Oh well. That only means, I am being me.

My mind seems to wonder about unnecessary things. When does it not?

So much to say.

At this point lets have it unsaid.

Goodnight.