I'm feeling abit out of place these past few days. Dysfunctional I may say. Not to mention over the top pessimistic. The more I wana get rid of my what-if's virus the more "what-ifs" I get. Just today three different people said I'm being pessimistic.
I reckon I've been let down too many times, hence the negativity.
I have quite a number of things running through my head. There are things that do not go my way and it bothers me. I wana question why. But then again the good side of me keeps on saying that God is testing me and he has better plans. And when something doesn't turn out the way you want it to be, it basically means one thing, find other ways to do it or try harder.
I managed to successfully bring in the new exhibition. Again from Australia, way ahead of schedule. I reckon I would be a good project engineer. I have my science communicators now. That means I have 5 permanent staff under me. And mind you, these people are Degree Graduates! You see, I like having the degree graduates to work with. So far they are enthusiastic, knowledgeable and efficient. The problem currently is, I'm a fresh graduate myself. My degree certificate is only 2 years old. So I'm still not quite comfortable with bossing them around. Well, I do not really boss people around. I think. You get what I mean. Still trying to compose myself everytime I call them for a meeting. I know what I want. As a leader you should always know what you want. So two things I have to look into here. One is the development of the workplace. Two is the development of my staff. And I am currently trying to develop myself too and sad to say, I kinda have to do it on my own. There are other couple of things that I wana do. For instance develop new educational programs, new games, get new puzzles but there are times when I think, OMG am I raising the stake too high? Cause I might just fall head first and die. Negativity. You see what I mean? Although, deep in my heart, I know I can do it as long as I work for it. Usaha Tangga Kejayaan my friend says.
New exhibition means another launching ceremony. I've managed to delegate the work to the new staff. Hopefully everything will fall into place efficiently. And everything would go the way I want it to be. Heheh. Currently I'm the acting head, so I make any decision that I want, if only it's like that all the way. Oh well.
On top of that I need to conduct a workshop for them on how to do a proper science show. Oh my dear Lord, how this?? It's not a must. But I figured I should. Cause the whole point of going for the KL trip was this and it would be super selfish of me if I do not pass on the knowledge. It would be a good development for them as well.
I think I've been blabbing too much about work.I reckon I should stop.
Other than work, there's another thing that's bothering me. Its about my Master application. Apparently, they have not process the in service's applications and I have no idea why.So I'm currently waiting for the result. I do not like waiting especially this type of wait. It makes me lose focus hence I keep on messing things up for example I forget things easily. My brother gave me a lecture of about getting myself ready for the whole thing. Going back to school and what not. I told him that I do not wana do that cause I don't wana go through the trouble of getting myself excited but in the end I get a solid rejection on the face by a paper. If I do get it, it would be a good self development process. I suppose there's nothing much I can do but wait.
I'll be having alot of things to look forward to these coming few weeks. The o-levels is just around the corner.Have to give the kids extra work.That's another thing that I need to really put my mind into.
Come to think of it, I am utilizing my life to it's fullest. Not bad ey. I do wana become a better person. I guess I'm going towards the right direction. There might be some hiccups here and there. But that is just how life is, yes?
My eyes are getting kinda heavy. I need to turn in soon. It's my day off tomorrow, however I need to be up early. My car is done, will be picking it up tomorrow. Happy Me. I miss it alot.
Last words for tonight.
I kinda miss you. It's weird but it's true.Oh well. All the best to you. Hmm..too bad I can't say this to you.
Everybody Leaves. It's an ugly truth. Face it.
Good night everyone.
5 Oct 2012
26 Sept 2012
Series of unfortunate events
Once again, hello my dear readers.
I have to be honest with you, I haven't been blogging much lately.
From the last time I blogged here to today I can say I have an array of things that happened that really made my mind go topsy turvy.
Last two weeks we conducted an assessment for our new science communicators, I had a boat ride to Temburong and just afew days ago I went to KL for a science communicator workshop. Finally, I get to go into Petrosains. It was fun. The workshop was good. Too bad prior to the trip as well as in the midst of the trip I had a taste of a series of unfortunate events.
Since the trip was just me and my boss I decided to bring a friend to accompany me to go for the trip. Thinking that it would be good for us to spend some time together since it's really hard to get hold of him sometimes. Initially I had trouble purchasing the ticket. Oh yea, I offered to purchase his air ticket since I was the one that invited him for the trip. Eventually I managed to sort the ticket problem and successfully got him a return ticket to Kuala Lumpur. Along the way of the purchasing process we kinda fought a bit. And he decided not to come along. Regardless of what he said I got the tickets for him anyway. Come on, no matter how mad a person is if someone gives you a free air ticket you would cool down right?Right??Nope. Not this dude. He totally turned down the offer and didn't get on the plane. Uhuh. B$345 down the drain.
I went to KL anyway, just me and my boss. I was sad at first but I got over it. Shit happens whatcha gona do right? To enhance my over stressed mind, on the second day of the workshop I fell sick. I got like the fever FEVER. The one where all you can do is just lie down and sleep. Yeap. That happened. Luckily I managed to go for the first day of the workshop. Since it was a two day thing I didn't miss so much. On top of everything, on the last day of my KL trip another thing happened. Me and my boss were already at the KLIA to check-in our things to go back to Brunei. AND BAM! I left my passport at the hotel. And mind you, it takes about 45mins to an hour to drive back to the hotel from the airport. I could feel my heart dropped to the ground when I realized that I left my passport at the hotel. It was already 3pm and our flight was at 5.50pm. I didn't have any choice but to go back to the hotel and to make things worse the queue for the budget taxi was super long. No chance I would have made it. So I had to get a Merceadez. And it was a freakin RM200, just to get me back to the hotel. Since I didn't wana stay another day in KL I took the Merceadez and had to add another RM150 to have me driven back from the hotel to KLIA. SIGH! I literally spent about B$500 on nothing. Very sad.
Oh, as a cherry on top, my car is in the workshop again. It wouldn't be ready til like the middle of next month? SIGH!
All I can say is, I'm disappointed with my friend, I'm disappointed my car and I'm disappointed with myself.
I haven't spoken to my friend since til today. SIGH. Very mean. If only I can punch him.
I have to be honest with you, I haven't been blogging much lately.
From the last time I blogged here to today I can say I have an array of things that happened that really made my mind go topsy turvy.
Last two weeks we conducted an assessment for our new science communicators, I had a boat ride to Temburong and just afew days ago I went to KL for a science communicator workshop. Finally, I get to go into Petrosains. It was fun. The workshop was good. Too bad prior to the trip as well as in the midst of the trip I had a taste of a series of unfortunate events.
Since the trip was just me and my boss I decided to bring a friend to accompany me to go for the trip. Thinking that it would be good for us to spend some time together since it's really hard to get hold of him sometimes. Initially I had trouble purchasing the ticket. Oh yea, I offered to purchase his air ticket since I was the one that invited him for the trip. Eventually I managed to sort the ticket problem and successfully got him a return ticket to Kuala Lumpur. Along the way of the purchasing process we kinda fought a bit. And he decided not to come along. Regardless of what he said I got the tickets for him anyway. Come on, no matter how mad a person is if someone gives you a free air ticket you would cool down right?Right??Nope. Not this dude. He totally turned down the offer and didn't get on the plane. Uhuh. B$345 down the drain.
I went to KL anyway, just me and my boss. I was sad at first but I got over it. Shit happens whatcha gona do right? To enhance my over stressed mind, on the second day of the workshop I fell sick. I got like the fever FEVER. The one where all you can do is just lie down and sleep. Yeap. That happened. Luckily I managed to go for the first day of the workshop. Since it was a two day thing I didn't miss so much. On top of everything, on the last day of my KL trip another thing happened. Me and my boss were already at the KLIA to check-in our things to go back to Brunei. AND BAM! I left my passport at the hotel. And mind you, it takes about 45mins to an hour to drive back to the hotel from the airport. I could feel my heart dropped to the ground when I realized that I left my passport at the hotel. It was already 3pm and our flight was at 5.50pm. I didn't have any choice but to go back to the hotel and to make things worse the queue for the budget taxi was super long. No chance I would have made it. So I had to get a Merceadez. And it was a freakin RM200, just to get me back to the hotel. Since I didn't wana stay another day in KL I took the Merceadez and had to add another RM150 to have me driven back from the hotel to KLIA. SIGH! I literally spent about B$500 on nothing. Very sad.
Oh, as a cherry on top, my car is in the workshop again. It wouldn't be ready til like the middle of next month? SIGH!
All I can say is, I'm disappointed with my friend, I'm disappointed my car and I'm disappointed with myself.
I haven't spoken to my friend since til today. SIGH. Very mean. If only I can punch him.
10 Sept 2012
Learn to appreciate
Hello and good evening.
I had alot going on inside my head that I thought of jotting down before I switched on my laptop. But now it seem like it's going away.
One of the many things that I was thinking about was about the fact that not everyone is born rich or should I say with money. There are people that are born less fortunate. It amazes me how these people are still able to draw a smile on their faces though there are days when they do not even have food to eat for two three days. And here we are sometime thinking that we are broke cause we can't afford to buy a channel hand bag or a luxurious car though we are earning thousands of dollars a month. I think it's sad of how some people failed to appreciate the things they already have. Me inclusive. It's an odd world we live in. I wish I could help all the less fortunate families available here and adopt all the babies given away by messed up couples. But then again, come to think of it I am not the Sultan. So I can't really do much and I don't really have the money. It would be good if I can though. *Sigh*
I am already so sleepy. I'm gona stop here for tonight.
Have a good sleep you.
I had alot going on inside my head that I thought of jotting down before I switched on my laptop. But now it seem like it's going away.
One of the many things that I was thinking about was about the fact that not everyone is born rich or should I say with money. There are people that are born less fortunate. It amazes me how these people are still able to draw a smile on their faces though there are days when they do not even have food to eat for two three days. And here we are sometime thinking that we are broke cause we can't afford to buy a channel hand bag or a luxurious car though we are earning thousands of dollars a month. I think it's sad of how some people failed to appreciate the things they already have. Me inclusive. It's an odd world we live in. I wish I could help all the less fortunate families available here and adopt all the babies given away by messed up couples. But then again, come to think of it I am not the Sultan. So I can't really do much and I don't really have the money. It would be good if I can though. *Sigh*
I am already so sleepy. I'm gona stop here for tonight.
Have a good sleep you.
2 Sept 2012
Baby got back
Hello Dear Readers,
It is a Sunday and I am on duty. *Yawns*
Why do I decided to blog again on a Sunday working day? Because I'm pretty much brain dead. I got presentation slides to do for the upcoming recruitment briefing and some other stuff to do which my brain is too tired to even recall right now.
I reckon I'm sleep deprived as well. I had my open house solely for my friends last night and the guys kinda stayed until about 2am. It was fun though. Haven't been hanging out with the guys in awhile.
Here's a funny story. You know how my lady friends are getting married and what not. So I can say now, getting engaged and getting married are all the things that I have been hearing lately from my lady friends. I thought maybe because they are girls and they are at this age that is why all that talk about is THAT. I figured my guy friends wouldn't be thinking about anything like that now, or maybe ever. Well, as usual I have my assumptions wrong. They do think about it. They do talk about it and they are worried about it. Interesting I may say. Probably its already THAT time. Revolution is taking it's place and we are a part of the integration.
I think it's good that they are trying to get themselves settled. I suppose it's about time. No one is getting any younger.
One of my guy friend said "Baik tah berakal berakal, mun tunggu lama lama bukan pulang makin baik. Makin rusak ada pulang."
I was really impressed with what he said. Never thought something like that would come out of his mouth. Heheh. Another friend said, " Nina, we are at the end of the cliff." He kinda used the wrong metaphor. But I understood what he was trying to say. Hopefully he'll find the right girl who'll manage to make him settle down like an old dog. Heheh.
Funny how things changed.
It's almost 11. Probably I should try doing my slides again. Force things out of this brain.
Last but not least.
I like you smiling smiling Hearts.
It is a Sunday and I am on duty. *Yawns*
Why do I decided to blog again on a Sunday working day? Because I'm pretty much brain dead. I got presentation slides to do for the upcoming recruitment briefing and some other stuff to do which my brain is too tired to even recall right now.
I reckon I'm sleep deprived as well. I had my open house solely for my friends last night and the guys kinda stayed until about 2am. It was fun though. Haven't been hanging out with the guys in awhile.
Here's a funny story. You know how my lady friends are getting married and what not. So I can say now, getting engaged and getting married are all the things that I have been hearing lately from my lady friends. I thought maybe because they are girls and they are at this age that is why all that talk about is THAT. I figured my guy friends wouldn't be thinking about anything like that now, or maybe ever. Well, as usual I have my assumptions wrong. They do think about it. They do talk about it and they are worried about it. Interesting I may say. Probably its already THAT time. Revolution is taking it's place and we are a part of the integration.
I think it's good that they are trying to get themselves settled. I suppose it's about time. No one is getting any younger.
One of my guy friend said "Baik tah berakal berakal, mun tunggu lama lama bukan pulang makin baik. Makin rusak ada pulang."
I was really impressed with what he said. Never thought something like that would come out of his mouth. Heheh. Another friend said, " Nina, we are at the end of the cliff." He kinda used the wrong metaphor. But I understood what he was trying to say. Hopefully he'll find the right girl who'll manage to make him settle down like an old dog. Heheh.
Funny how things changed.
It's almost 11. Probably I should try doing my slides again. Force things out of this brain.
Last but not least.
I like you smiling smiling Hearts.
26 Aug 2012
Hello My Dear
Hello My Dear Readers,
It is now the 7th day of Hari Raya. Haven't been doing that much visiting. It has been a good raya though. Cousins and friends have been coming over, get to see the little nephews and nieces. I like very many.
Something old but new is, my car is back in the workshop. *Sigh* For a different reason now. Somewhat. Hopefully I can get it back by next week.
Will be jotting down a very short post today, cause the mind is abit dysfunctional.
Last but not least...
U make me smile like a flippin butterfly..u make me shy like a girl on sugar high.
Til then have a good week up ahead.
It is now the 7th day of Hari Raya. Haven't been doing that much visiting. It has been a good raya though. Cousins and friends have been coming over, get to see the little nephews and nieces. I like very many.
Something old but new is, my car is back in the workshop. *Sigh* For a different reason now. Somewhat. Hopefully I can get it back by next week.
Will be jotting down a very short post today, cause the mind is abit dysfunctional.
Last but not least...
U make me smile like a flippin butterfly..u make me shy like a girl on sugar high.
Til then have a good week up ahead.
12 Aug 2012
Tying the knot
It's weird how I have the Song "Fighter" by the Gym Class Heroes stuck in my head right now and it isn't even the last song that I heard today.
It's less than an hour to 12 am suddenly I have the urge to blog. I received a very delighting news about a friend yesterday. I can say, two of my very good friends that I went to the university with will be tying the knot! I am genuinely happy for them. They have found their true love and they are planning to show it to the whole world not through the main stream way of just displaying it on facebook or any sort of social networks but by having a legitimate tie that not all mature couples seem to be able to do.
One lady will be having her wedding just next month and the other will be having hers early January 2013.
These two ladies went through a lot the last time I remember when they were in a relationship. Tears were shed, sorrows were shared between ourselves and what's amazing is they never stopped believing in having that one man that would always be true to them and now here they are planning out their weddings, picking out the best tiaras and the best glittering shoes that would match their dresses. Ahh..so nice.
Now that leaves me here wondering when will it be my turn? The pressure is not really there, cause my mum is not the type that is over the top concern about these things and to her I am still her 16 year old kid. True fact, I'm already 26 for crying out loud. And to add to that fact, I haven't found the right guy yet. * as of today, I don't think I have* But I do believe that I shall have the knot tied sometime next year. *Believe to achieve*
The past six years have thought me a very thoughtful lesson and seeing my friends have showed me the correct way of being in a relationship. It all boils down to believing. When I was with the last guy, which by the way was a pretty much serious four years relationship, I realize I never did believe that he was actually the one, I just THOUGHT he was the one. It seem a lot like it was the real deal that I forgot to believe that it was actually the real deal. But it wasn't. There were too much hope and expectations, which I have failed to realized, was not standing on solid foundations. I guess I was just young and naive. Probably in a way, too confident with myself. And I remember pouring too much love, more than I should have. Gosh, now that I am sane, I just realize all the wrong ingredients were put in the relationship. No wonder it didn't work. Well all of those things are behind me now. What I have learned from my friends are to just be moderate when it comes to these things. To believe that the guy is the right guy and not just think that he is. Probably not to expect too much from him as well, cause one thing he's not God.
Everyone will find their other half as long as you keep on believing that you can. That's what I believe.
That is all I reckon.
To the ladies,
Congratulations! For..
It's less than an hour to 12 am suddenly I have the urge to blog. I received a very delighting news about a friend yesterday. I can say, two of my very good friends that I went to the university with will be tying the knot! I am genuinely happy for them. They have found their true love and they are planning to show it to the whole world not through the main stream way of just displaying it on facebook or any sort of social networks but by having a legitimate tie that not all mature couples seem to be able to do.
One lady will be having her wedding just next month and the other will be having hers early January 2013.
These two ladies went through a lot the last time I remember when they were in a relationship. Tears were shed, sorrows were shared between ourselves and what's amazing is they never stopped believing in having that one man that would always be true to them and now here they are planning out their weddings, picking out the best tiaras and the best glittering shoes that would match their dresses. Ahh..so nice.
Now that leaves me here wondering when will it be my turn? The pressure is not really there, cause my mum is not the type that is over the top concern about these things and to her I am still her 16 year old kid. True fact, I'm already 26 for crying out loud. And to add to that fact, I haven't found the right guy yet. * as of today, I don't think I have* But I do believe that I shall have the knot tied sometime next year. *Believe to achieve*
The past six years have thought me a very thoughtful lesson and seeing my friends have showed me the correct way of being in a relationship. It all boils down to believing. When I was with the last guy, which by the way was a pretty much serious four years relationship, I realize I never did believe that he was actually the one, I just THOUGHT he was the one. It seem a lot like it was the real deal that I forgot to believe that it was actually the real deal. But it wasn't. There were too much hope and expectations, which I have failed to realized, was not standing on solid foundations. I guess I was just young and naive. Probably in a way, too confident with myself. And I remember pouring too much love, more than I should have. Gosh, now that I am sane, I just realize all the wrong ingredients were put in the relationship. No wonder it didn't work. Well all of those things are behind me now. What I have learned from my friends are to just be moderate when it comes to these things. To believe that the guy is the right guy and not just think that he is. Probably not to expect too much from him as well, cause one thing he's not God.
Everyone will find their other half as long as you keep on believing that you can. That's what I believe.
That is all I reckon.
To the ladies,
Congratulations! For..
10 Aug 2012
Full on determination
Things I wana do after puasa:
It's a must that I do all the things that I'm about to mention. The reasons are as follows:
You just can't imagine how disappointed I am with myself as I typed those things above.
People in the GFCF are getting much much better. Especially those that goes training in Bandar at the box. *Sigh big big
One of the trainers have been training the princesses. They have their one to one personal trainings 6 times a week and after a week of training they can already do pull ups. Impressive ey. That's what I call full on determination. Truth be told til now I still can't do one. Shit, this is just sad. Seriously.
Going back to the first thing that I mentioned. The list of things I need to look into after the puasa month:
You shall be my inspiration!
Wish me luck everybody.
As of today this is how skinny I am.
P/S: Rambut saja almost sama as Camille. Heheh
Below is a random picture of me and afew other anti-social people. Heheh.
Sigh. Til then. Have a good last nine days of Ramadhan everybody. Hari raya is just around the corner. Good food is on it's way. Oh Dear.
It's a must that I do all the things that I'm about to mention. The reasons are as follows:
- Since it's the fasting month, I think I have lost the weight that I gained afew weeks ago.
- I seriously do not feel fit anymore.
- I have forgotten some of my gym routines that I was thought.
- I don't think I can do a 10k run anymore.
- I've lost the muscles on my thighs.
- It's just so fuckin sad.
You just can't imagine how disappointed I am with myself as I typed those things above.
People in the GFCF are getting much much better. Especially those that goes training in Bandar at the box. *Sigh big big
One of the trainers have been training the princesses. They have their one to one personal trainings 6 times a week and after a week of training they can already do pull ups. Impressive ey. That's what I call full on determination. Truth be told til now I still can't do one. Shit, this is just sad. Seriously.
Going back to the first thing that I mentioned. The list of things I need to look into after the puasa month:
- Go back to the gym
- Attend circuits
- Go running
- Enroll myself in the Muai Tai classes
- Start joining marathons again
- And ofcourse get myself new running/exercise shoes (as I have lost mine. See how bad it has been. Ahh.. freakin' hell)
You shall be my inspiration!
Wish me luck everybody.
As of today this is how skinny I am.
Below is a random picture of me and afew other anti-social people. Heheh.
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