The thing with me is, I tend to get myself tangled in this odd situations. And I would always end up saying things like good things do not come easy or nothing is permanent except change. And other whole load of crap. I'm not saying that any of those things aren't true.
It is safe to say now.. still, I do think that good things do not come easy.
I was browsing through my past posts and came across me saying I hope God will give me that one particular person that would set me free or something along that line. GOD is fair and GOD is good. Cause GOD did introduce to me a being that is by far the sweetest person alive. He never fails to make me laugh and he makes me forget things that I do not wana remember.
I would like to dedicate this post especially for him.
I was all year round doing something that was not right with a person whom I thought loved me sincerely. Taken for granted by another man which I thought I was ready to give my heart and soul. On most nights I would be angry at myself for letting myself do things which makes me feel used and small. I cared too much for people that does not care about me. I doubted my common sense, I thought I was going crazy, I had hoped for something which was nothing but cheap tales in a romance movie which was too good to be true.
Until one day!Came along a person which I thought was just an ordinary guy. Me being me, I was pretty skeptic towards this man. For one thing, he is waayy younger than I am. Until he started talking to me like its no one's business. I figured, this guy is pretty interesting. He seems to know alot of things. Nothing attracts me more than a smart person.We talked more, and grew alot closer than we should. Cause he cracks me up to a level that no one can. He can be pretty lame, but still I would find that amusing.
I came to understand him alot better. I manage to see the mature side of him that most people can't. For a young man, he can be more mature than I am. And that really caught my attention. Everyone knows that a girl and a guy can't be JUST friends. With time, he grew to love me, and vise versa. My common sense told me to stop. Why? One thing, he is way younger than me.
Apart from how mature he can be sometimes, he says the sweetest things about me that no freakin' guy has ever said to me. At one point in time, he told me all these good qualities that he sees in me that he finds very attractive.That was really sweet level 9000. I don't really remember what they are, but I do remember how he made me feel when he told me all those things. For the first time after so long I do not feel so small and under appreciated.
He make me do things which I never thought I would love doing. For instance, hanging by the beach and just talk endlessly. All these things which I thought was really corny turned to be something which are actually really good. I lit my first lantern because of him. Nothing can beat the feeling of doing something for the first time. And I have never seen a man that is very certain of what he wants. I'm not too sure if this is because he is young (they tend to think they want something, but they actually don't) or the fact that he is just CERTAIN of what he wants that it scares me sometime. I have not seen a man which is that sure in a very long time. And he sure can keep up with my crap. Amazingly. (Well for now)
Dear God,
I wana thank you for introducing me this amazing guy. He has a soft heart and he has the sweetest smile. And those things are one of the many things that I love about him. Apart from never failing to make me feel needed, loved and most importantly like a princess. :) IF you happen to take him away too like the others, I want you to know that I am thankful for every moment that I spent with him despite how brief it is. I am well aware of the challenges that I will be facing (although now I still refuse to accept it) and knowing me I might end up doing something stupid. He is one of the many amazing gift you have given to me.
And Dear You,
I know I do not say things like these alot, I reckon I am more of a person that writes stuff rather than say them, cause this way you can always refer back to your writings incase you forgot, you are an amazing person, as much as you are afraid of losing me, I am quite worried too. (You might just find a person your age) I might not show it much it's because I've been through alot in the past and I have learned that it'll hurt less if you dont dwell too much on it. I always question myself, if I give up on this, will I be able to find another guy that is like you. And that stops me from actually doing it. Insecurities aside. Let me list down all the amazing things I like about you (best part is I'm gona have this in writing);
You're funny and adorable. You're sweet, you know how to say the right things at the right time. You make me feel like I am the most important female alive. You have the sweetest dimples. You are very smart. I like it when you take something very seriously. I like how you are able to make me laugh almost everytime when we speak. I like how you can make me do things (like eat my veggies even when I dont wana). I like how you are very understanding and I like it how you say love me.
If I happen to not be with you, let me tell you this. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. The person that ends up being with you will be the luckiest person alive. Never think less of yourself. Girls in the past may have hurt you, and I believe its their lost. They have failed to see this attractive dimpled man that can make their day to day very cheerful and colorful. And always remember when it doesnt work with one girl, it basically means GOD is giving you a better one.
I think this is one of the longest post I have ever written here. Took me about an hour drafting this. I hope you've enjoyed reading it. Cause I enjoyed drafting it.
Til next time.
Have a good sleep.
Love always.
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