Hello,
Being at work on a Sunday today gave me the urge to blog a little bit.
My favorite staff is leaving to pursue her degree. I can't really stop her. I want to but that would be very selfish of me. She did say it's hard for her as well. Another staff of ours is making a mess out of this place. He is kinda 'Special' so I can't really say much cause I know he means well. I have a project coming up. I can say I am quite nervous about it. *When was I never when it comes to these things.
I think this is the first time in Ramadhan I am posting something here. Ramadhan has been very gentle with me. Alhamdulilah. I am surprise that I am very active this year regardless of being hungry and sleepy.Hmm interesting. There's always something that I wana do. I might be conducting an extra class for my students later. Where is all this energy coming from? I am not too sure myself. Can't really say that I do not feel tired working extra time during this fasting month. But I kinda just want to.
In response to my previous post, some questions were answered. Tee hee..
Here's what I have to say:
U make me smile like a flippin butterfly..u make me shy like a girl on sugar high.
Cheers Mademoiselle
29 Jul 2012
22 Jul 2012
Believe to achieve
So,
Here is the thing. I am in quite of a situation. I'm not too sure if it's a situation, probably I'm just making a big deal out of it. But I somehow keep on thinking about it everyday. If only everything is self explanatory. It saves me the trouble of trying to figure things out myself, probably saves me the trouble of making a fool out of myself as well. Which by the way, I personally think I can get an award for making a fool out of myself. There are times when I think I am the queen of fools. Oh well.
I can't really say what exactly I am going through here. Cause it would be very odd. I am not so much the type that kiss and tell. I think. I do tell at one point or another, to my bestie. When everything has reached a point where it needs to be spilled.
What do I want now? What am I gona do now?
I want answers or signs or something anything. I wana know whats going on. Cause as it stands I'm feeling kinda hopeless and lost. Am I expecting so much more? Probably not, cause I'm not too sure if I have fully come to an agreement with myself that these sort of things are rigid and long lasting. So what are the actions to be taken? I suppose for the time being I can wait. Who knows I'll get tired of waiting.
Blegh... Truth be told I'm not up for another mid life complication. Why do I always get myself sucked into these things? Seriously? Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I'm probably cursed. Can I just live in a box where any sort of sentiments are non existence? That would be nice. Again saves me the trouble of having wants, needs and desires.
If only you would just open up and say something. I don't read minds. Hmm. I would pay just to have him talk. Regardless of what ever that is gona come out.
I realize the difference between me now and me then is that I am more prone to saying things out, especially about what I think. Or when I disagree about something. One good example was, when I snapped at my boss telling him to talk nicely. Seriously, me then would never even think of doing something so rude. So yeah, I kinda made the same mistake (Not too sure if it was a mistake) to a certain person. I didn't snapped or anything not at first atleast. Since then things have been different. But that is just how I roll now. Didn't mean to break anyone's heart but asking is better then assuming. Living in denial is the last thing you wana do despite how hurtful the truth may get.
Ah well. Only time will tell I suppose. If the person refuses to open up, I guess that's that. It's such a shame though cause I've never met a person like that before and I would love to get to know him better.
Come to think of it, this could be a good lesson for a person like me or perhaps you too. I kinda just came across two different types of people. One that easily spills his heart out and one that just doesn't. If you ask me which is a keeper? Honestly, I have no idea.
Til then.
Believe to achieve.
Here is the thing. I am in quite of a situation. I'm not too sure if it's a situation, probably I'm just making a big deal out of it. But I somehow keep on thinking about it everyday. If only everything is self explanatory. It saves me the trouble of trying to figure things out myself, probably saves me the trouble of making a fool out of myself as well. Which by the way, I personally think I can get an award for making a fool out of myself. There are times when I think I am the queen of fools. Oh well.
I can't really say what exactly I am going through here. Cause it would be very odd. I am not so much the type that kiss and tell. I think. I do tell at one point or another, to my bestie. When everything has reached a point where it needs to be spilled.
What do I want now? What am I gona do now?
I want answers or signs or something anything. I wana know whats going on. Cause as it stands I'm feeling kinda hopeless and lost. Am I expecting so much more? Probably not, cause I'm not too sure if I have fully come to an agreement with myself that these sort of things are rigid and long lasting. So what are the actions to be taken? I suppose for the time being I can wait. Who knows I'll get tired of waiting.
Blegh... Truth be told I'm not up for another mid life complication. Why do I always get myself sucked into these things? Seriously? Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I'm probably cursed. Can I just live in a box where any sort of sentiments are non existence? That would be nice. Again saves me the trouble of having wants, needs and desires.
If only you would just open up and say something. I don't read minds. Hmm. I would pay just to have him talk. Regardless of what ever that is gona come out.
I realize the difference between me now and me then is that I am more prone to saying things out, especially about what I think. Or when I disagree about something. One good example was, when I snapped at my boss telling him to talk nicely. Seriously, me then would never even think of doing something so rude. So yeah, I kinda made the same mistake (Not too sure if it was a mistake) to a certain person. I didn't snapped or anything not at first atleast. Since then things have been different. But that is just how I roll now. Didn't mean to break anyone's heart but asking is better then assuming. Living in denial is the last thing you wana do despite how hurtful the truth may get.
Ah well. Only time will tell I suppose. If the person refuses to open up, I guess that's that. It's such a shame though cause I've never met a person like that before and I would love to get to know him better.
Come to think of it, this could be a good lesson for a person like me or perhaps you too. I kinda just came across two different types of people. One that easily spills his heart out and one that just doesn't. If you ask me which is a keeper? Honestly, I have no idea.
Til then.
Believe to achieve.
8 Jul 2012
What fascinates me
Hi,
It intrigues me how one can make me wonder a million things. I can say that I am a person that thinks alot. Sometimes. Fascinating how god managed create mix of emotions and how these emotions are triggered by different occurrences.
For instance, this family as in my family weren't a big fan of cats. They pee and climb up on cars and leave footprints. Very much annoying. Until late last year, I do not really remember, two cats dropped by our place. They were our neighbors cats that wouldn't wana go back to their own home. So with time they managed to steal our hearts and they kinda became a PR at our home. We learned to love these cats and became quite attached. Two cats, namely Tuli and Gamuk. Sad story, Gamuk died afew days ago. It was found dead in our drain. I never thought I would cry but I did. My mum and my sisters as well. And to think we didn't even like cats. See how fascinating that is. How feelings can change from one form to another? Just like energy. There is one difference though, energy can't disappear but feelings can. If only there's a scientific explanation to the transition of feelings. Perhaps we can find a controlling agent to stop the transition from occuring.
I was browsing through my facebook timeline and came across posts and videos which I don't even remember posting. Some of the things I posted sounded quite smart. Heheh. Some were just simply corny and dorky. Heheh. Oh well. Got me back to the past a little bit there. How things have changed since the last six years. I was thinking to myself, if I was given the chance to go back into time, I wouldn't change anything. All the mistakes and regrets, they are memories made. And the good times are simply irreplaceable.
I'm just gone face life one day at time and probably hope for the best. Gona go for a holiday trip. Can't wait. It has been awhile.
I think that is all for tonight.
P/S: I sometimes have a big mouth. Now I have to finish his slides. Hit self on the head.
It intrigues me how one can make me wonder a million things. I can say that I am a person that thinks alot. Sometimes. Fascinating how god managed create mix of emotions and how these emotions are triggered by different occurrences.
For instance, this family as in my family weren't a big fan of cats. They pee and climb up on cars and leave footprints. Very much annoying. Until late last year, I do not really remember, two cats dropped by our place. They were our neighbors cats that wouldn't wana go back to their own home. So with time they managed to steal our hearts and they kinda became a PR at our home. We learned to love these cats and became quite attached. Two cats, namely Tuli and Gamuk. Sad story, Gamuk died afew days ago. It was found dead in our drain. I never thought I would cry but I did. My mum and my sisters as well. And to think we didn't even like cats. See how fascinating that is. How feelings can change from one form to another? Just like energy. There is one difference though, energy can't disappear but feelings can. If only there's a scientific explanation to the transition of feelings. Perhaps we can find a controlling agent to stop the transition from occuring.
I was browsing through my facebook timeline and came across posts and videos which I don't even remember posting. Some of the things I posted sounded quite smart. Heheh. Some were just simply corny and dorky. Heheh. Oh well. Got me back to the past a little bit there. How things have changed since the last six years. I was thinking to myself, if I was given the chance to go back into time, I wouldn't change anything. All the mistakes and regrets, they are memories made. And the good times are simply irreplaceable.
I'm just gone face life one day at time and probably hope for the best. Gona go for a holiday trip. Can't wait. It has been awhile.
I think that is all for tonight.
P/S: I sometimes have a big mouth. Now I have to finish his slides. Hit self on the head.
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