Ayam Sabung

So I'm like thinking why?

And How?


Kawan saya cakap dia buat orang macam ayam sabung.

Dia simpan dua ayam suruh sabung dan dia lihat dari siring. Saya fikir, kenapa seseorang boleh berfikiran begitu sedang kan mereka sentiasa berniat baik tehadap beliau? Adakah jejaka itu tidak mempunyai perasaan? Ataupun dia sedang asyik melihat ayam serama yang asyik bersabung sesama jenis?

Disini saya berfikir akan apa yang terlintas didalam fikiran beliau?

Satu perkara yang saya harapkan ialah, tuhan akan menjauhi orang itu dari saya.

You might be wondering why on earth did I write in malay? First because I am one. Second, its a good attempt to brush up on my malay writing skills. Been composing letters in malay these past few days and I dont wana suck.

That is all for now.

P/S: I like Justin when he sings.

Little thing called love

I just finished watching a Thai Movie.Yes. A thai movie called "Little thing called love". It's a very corny teenage movie, but I kinda enjoyed it. Probably it's safe to say that I am a corny person at one point or another. The movie was about a girl that has a crush on this boy. Obviously. The word corny at the very beginning kinda explains itself.  For many years of having a crush at the boy, they eventually got together.

I am gonabe a little bit frank and bold with tonight's post. I do not care if some of you are gona judge me or perhaps think that I have a sad life. Or probably tweet about how lousy of a teacher I am. Let me say it now, I do not give a fuck. I am open to freedom of speech and you can go Fuck yourself.

Anyway, you know what I have not been doing for a really long time? Have a crush on a person. The last time I had a crush on a person was about 5 to 6 years ago? When was the last time you had a crush on a person? How do you differentiate between a crush and NOT a crush? You know that it's a crush when you like the guy, but you do not go out on a date with him, do not have his number and he makes you wonder if he knows your existence. Freaky, but yeah it's kinda true. You know it's a crush, when he passes by and smiles at you and says hi, you'd jump around like a hippy when he's out of sight. Funny but true. That was what happened to me when I had a crush on this dude. You know it's a crush, when you find out that he has a girlfriend and you become a tad sad and move on and still secretly thinks he's cute. That's a crush, a simple form of sentiment towards a person, whereby any agony results from the person being with somebody else wouldn't even kill a tiny bug. Simple and nice. As I was saying, it has been awhile since I've had a crush on somebody. Hmm..

And another thing that I have not done in awhile is go on a first date. The last time I went on a real first date was, I don't know, way before I entered uni. Damn. I kinda threw my social life away after I entered uni didn't I? How do you differentiate if it was a real first date or just a simple dinner or lunch? First, he would pick you up from home. And before you see him, you would actually have butterflies in your tummy and you would pick the right attire to wear precisely. Not to mention nervous and super excited. How do I know these things? That's what I felt on the very first 'first date' I had with this guy that I used to date. And it's a real first date when you actually like like the guy and actually waits for him to call you back. That first date would probably be the most proper 'first date' I have had, cause I can still remember it until now. I dated the guy only for a couple of months though, probably that is why the only thing I can remember about him is the first date that we had. Hehehe. I did go out for lunch with this dude a few months ago, we ended our lunch with an awkward hug. Hehehehe. That was funny. He didn't manage to give me that jittery feeling that I was looking for. So yeah. We are still friends, I guess we're cool.

Oh, how I miss. Life was simpler back then. I think. Now it's just like a crumpled paper with stains that I can't just get rid of. Gah! My birthday is coming, I'm not really looking forward for it. How I wish I can skip it. Partly because my dad won't be around. So it'll be family dinner minus one. I think. I don't know. It doesn't matter, I already told my mum not to get me a cake and what not. I might sound like a depress little child right now. I don't mind having the spotlight all to my little sister for now. Need to get her a birthday present. Probably tomorrow.

What else is there?

Have you ever been in love with someone that it hurts? I have. And now I'm thinking why and how? Love is a strong word and most of the time it is overrated. But then again, who wouldn't overrate love? For a girl it means more than just a form of sentiment towards somebody. A girl may say they do not want flowers, they do not want presents, they do not want their boyfriend to be there 24/7, truth be told, in most cases that's not true. It IS when she thinks you are NOT the one she wana spend the rest of her life with. A girl would always want the attention. Mind you, here I am talking about the girls that wana spend the rest of her life with you. If you think your girl is cool for not being clingy most of the time, sorry to say dude, you're probably just her rebound or her toyboy.Boytoy?You get what I mean.

One piece of advise to girls out there, if you wana give full amount of lovey dovey heart love to a dude, just make sure you give it to the right guy. A guy that gives you back as much as what you give to him. If he gives you so much more, then he is definitely a keeper. You can bring him home to your Momma. I'm not too sure if I actually gave mine to the right person. I reckon I might've misplaced mine. Imagine you falling into quick sand. One thing for sure, it's hard to get out from it. If you panic and try to get yourself out when you're panicky you might drown and die. The only way is to calm yourself down and get out slowly. That is what happens when you donate your heart full of cotton candy love to the wrong person.

How do you know if you have the right guy? I would probably be the last person you would wana ask that. Heheh. You can pray to god. He knows everything, he's the one that gives you anything and everything. So yeah.


On a different note, installation of my exhibition is completed. Yeay me! Two Australians, Mark and Lawson plus Gary came Brunei to help us with the exhibition. Awesome and skillful guys they were. Gona miss them.The exhibition stuff are pretty cool. Can't wait to see the faces of the kids when they play with the exhibits. I believe they would enjoy it very much. Other than that, got some other stuff that needs to be sorted out. Again challenge accepted! :)

AND!I've been missing out on my trainings. Seriously. Not GOOD! I found out an interesting fact. Wait for it!

Strength training can actually boosts your performance in running. Hip hip hooray. That's one useful fact. The only problem now is, implementing it. Yikes.


This must be one of the longest post I have ever made. I know the shortest one is the one titled if you do not know what to say don't say anything. I practically didn't type anything. Hmm. I reckon depression kinda hit me that time. So I guess, thanks to those who actually read the whole thing. I personally think you are awesome.

Have a great night. Life's too short for you to spend it on something worthless. So look before you leap.

Bye

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

This is good music:

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

Dear Self

This is retweeted:

3 things you cannot recover in life: the word after it is said, the moment after it is missed and the time after it is gone.

I saw a video posted by Brunei Tweet created by a group of people fighting against teenage bullying and suicide. The project so happens to be called The Nina Project. You never thought how a simple word may draw such a big impact on a person emotionally.

I've said some things which I regret saying, I've done things which I'm not proud of and I've missed out on good opportunities due to my carelessness and ignorance. Quoted from a friend " Dear Self, I apologize..". And to the person I've said mean things to " Dear you, I apologize..".There are times when I wished that I could turn back time. But I know better that it is not possible and I know that there are reasons behind every happenings. Not everyday life is good. Not everyday it's rainbows and butterflies. But that doesn't mean you're just gona let yourself fall and cry right?

On a different note, I get agitated easily these days. Even when people messes up the office table or the office counter it really gets to me. And the weird thing is I've moved pass my PMS period. Damn.

Btw I clocked 10km in about 1 hr 15 minutes. Not too shabby for a first timer I reckon. My mum used to do marathons and cross countries. *Yes I know. It's hard to believe, but yeah, she kinda did all these things even before slim and small mobile phones were invented* Now I know why she likes doing these things. It is kinda fun. At the same time it forces you to keep fit. Will be doing the 6km for the HSBC runwalkcycle. I think it'll be more fun since we'll be running at night, will register soon. If you haven't lets do it together. :)

Before I go, this is dedicated to you.

Monkey Butt

You know, as you grow older you come across all these types of people with different characters and attitudes. Some are nice some are just blurghh, they make you wince like there's no tomorrow.

From high school to uni to work, you can imagine the transition of "friends" you'd come across.

Truth be told, there are only a handful of good people on this earth. Authentically, genuinely a good person at heart. I am yet to find one though. A super nice person I mean.

I had a long day today and it wasn't too good. I bought a pair of purple crocs and my mum was like saying "did you get another crocs?" I was like thinking my blue shoe ripped and I reckon she was the one who threw it away and don't even remember doing it. What choice do I have, I needed a comfortable flats and crocs was my best option. Those things are quite pricey though. Oh well. Don't get me wrong, that wasn't the thing that was making my day slightly crappy than usual. Moms will always be moms, that's all I can say.

I don't get how certain people think sometimes.There are times when I think too much about it I end up thinking probably I'm the one with the problem. There are people who are just too ignorant with the things that comes out from their mouth. Senseless , irrational things just spurts out and it's either they do not realize it or they just "pretend" not to realize it. I admit I am not that nice of a person I can be stupid senseless or irresponsible at times but I do always try to better myself or maybe atleast try not to do it you know. Cause a normal person would be able to sense inappropriate or irrational actions and would actually withdraw or withhold themselves from doing these indecent actions. Sadly, there are people who are, I don't even know what's the word, who are like monkey butts! I would like to say morons, probably that would be too harsh, I'm just gonna stick to monkey butt.
You put a monkey butt with a person like me in a room, you'll get an angry ambiance. Half the time a monkey butt would say nonsense and he or she wouldn't even realize it.

Have you ever been so angry that your heart actually raced and your face gets hot?

I reckon this is another test for me from god. I've had a good share of a series of unfortunate events. He has something for me at the end of the line. Something good I know. Its normal for a human to have to put up with nonsense before the good things come along.

I overdosed myself with Easyway. Not too sure if that's fine or not.


That's a wrap. Goodnight.

No reason to give up 2

Hi...Here I am, back again.

Before I continue rambling about what I was saying last night let me just talk a little bit about what I did today. :)

I slept a little longer than usual and my goodness it felt really good, I was too caught up with work the last week that I was actually having sleep deprivation and I didn't even notice.*Yes I am exaggerating* But yeah, I sleep off almost all of my Saturday no regrets there though, have not slept like that in awhile.

I managed to go running earlier, happy me :) The SCB run is just next week, I haven't even given back the money collection card. I wouldn't say I am proud of my performance today, with the time I took doing the 4.5k today, it'll take me some time to finish off the 10k. I did think of withdrawing from the 10k and join just the 5k, but HE (my trainer supposedly, until further notice) told me to not give up and just do it. Cause as it stands this isn't going to be my last run. He has a point though. For now it's not about winning, YET, it's about finishing your goal. There I was typing about stuff with regards to not quitting and then today here I am telling you it has occurred to me to actually quit. Ironic yea. But the case now is, I am NOT withdrawing from the 10k. So there, I'm not giving up without trying first. There is this saying that goes something like this, failing is not the greatest failure giving up without trying is.There you go, the sentence speaks for itself. Just afew hours ago was the earth hour, we were the only house that had our lights out in our area. Sad but true. Glad we could help to make the world a better place though.

It's weird how I'm already kinda sleepy. Can I be random for a bit? I miss going to supa save. The old one. I went to the one in KB recently thinking I could get that apple that I like that costs 80 cents each, they do have it, its just that they were kinda squishy, so I didn't get any. Again sad but true.

Ok probably now is a good time for me to resume my last night's argument.

As I was saying, I just do not get why they should give up even before they give it a shot. In this case a really strong one *but worth it*. I have to admit math is one of the toughest subjects these kids have ever encountered at their age. Here I am talking about 15 to 17 years old perhaps? I'm saddened by this fact cause I know they will sure regret not putting all the best they can and it would already be too late.

I used to say to myself that I do not wanabe a teacher when I grow up and to think, I have been teaching part time for almost 3 years now. That's like more than a100 students? And there are times when I pass by my ex students they would still call me "teacher". And I actually think them calling me that has a good ring to it. :)

Like what they all say, you do not know what the future holds.

Can I just say another thing before I end tonight's post?

Not everyone can be your friend or nice or thankful for what you have done for them. It's a fact. It's a fact too that everyone leaves, everybody lies and everyone will backstab you at one point or another. A friend will still bitch about you at one point, a boyfriend will still cheat on you at one point your bff will de-friend you at one point. It was, is and will always be like that whether you like it or not. And it's just a handful of people that do not encounter this phenomena. You can trust me on that one.

I think that is all for now.

And this is dedicated to you.

P/s : What is up with people's husbands now adays?  Why do I keep on coming across this type of people? Sheesh

No reason to give up

Just this morning I had a sudden rush of blogging about the thing that's currently bothering me, unfortunately as time passes by that momentum decreases proportionally with my body energy. However, I am still going to type out as much as I can tonight and share with you the thing, probably things, that's currently bothering me.

Here we go. Kids now adays are too pampered. They give up easily and they would rather spend their time socializing on the ever so growing social networks and media that we currently have. Bare in mind I am talking about some kids and NOT all kids. I don't get how they are so good at dressing up, putting on make up or playing games and going on facebook, twitter or instagram, but can't do simple algebraic problems. By the end of the day, who gets blamed by their parents? Their teachers. I mean where is the sense in that? And I don't get how parents would just let their kids give up on something, in this case a subject, just because they think it's too hard for them to handle. I mean, seriously. Also, I hate the fact that these kids would actually give up without even trying hard. I mean, there is no such thing as impossible if you actually try hard enough and really put your mind into it. It really frustrates me to hear a student quitting tuition when I know that they are really in need of intensive tutorial and the fact that their parents let them, it's an abysmal form of parenting! Sigh. I can no longer tell whether these parents actually know where their kids stand in school. Do they even know or do they even have time to teach their kids at home? Do they even care?At one point or another, you still have to teach or maybe check on your kid's progress and what not with their school stuff. Parents should know to not literally rely on tuition teachers to make their kids be outstanding. Parents should know that they too play a big role on their kids school life. Not that I am asking the parents to literally teach their kids, maybe just make them practice the exercises that was given to them during their tuition classes would actually be sufficient. Not only that, I believe a motivation from the parents is crucial too. We teachers are not asking too much from students and parents honestly. We just want your (parents) kids to be smarter than she or he already is and a tiny helping hand would do. Sigh.


I shall continue this post tomorrow, or perhaps soon enough.

Eyes too sleepy. Goodnight you.